Grey clouds begin to fill the light blue sky.
Where is the light? It can hardly be seen.
Dark, gloomy, and scary to some it might be,
leaving room for questions; such as why?
It remains to be true; for there is no answer that will appease.
I cannot see myself or you.
Please do not cry or have sympathy,
because in life, there are no guarantees.
Darkness is a part of reality,
and whatever the case may be,
it will not limit your possibilities.
This past month, my niece has been asking me a lot about darkness as it pertains to blindness. In my niece’s point of view, as a child who sleeps with a night light, darkness is daunting. My niece and I have lots of conversations about my blindness. One day she said, “It must be scary being in the dark all of the time, I guess you are use to it.” In actuality, when I initially lost my sight, I was terrified of being in complete darkness because that meant I would not be able to physically see what was going on around me.
Over time, my fears decimated; I used other ways to compensate for my vision loss. Such ways include, but are not limited to paying more attention to the sounds, smells, perceptions, etc. With this in mind, it was easy for me to calmly reassure my niece that over time, being in the dark is not as frightening as it seems. Darkness can leave a lot to a person’s imagination. I have said this in past posts, and I truly believe it; darkness allows a person to look beyond the physical and see what’s within.
These past nine years, I have listened to my niece grapple with my blindness by asking questions and trying to understand what is being explained to her. I am a proud Aunt because I’m amazed how well my niece has adjusted to my situation. My niece seeks to inform others, such as her peers, about blindness. In this post, I have given my niece’s and my perspectives on darkness. So, what does darkness mean to you?
Saturday, April 30, 2011
Monday, February 28, 2011
Stepping Outside of the Box Part 2
In late October, I made a pledge to all of you. I promised that if you find a way to step outside of your comfort zone, I would step outside of mine by participating in a karate tournament. Well, I held up my end of the bargain. On February 12, 2011, I took part in the Friendship Cup Tournament hosted by Colorado Budokan. The type of routine that I performed was the Kata, which is fighting against an imaginary opponent. The type of kata that I performed was the heian shodan. There are various forms of kata to be learned, but when beginning karate, a person starts off with the heian shodan. In Japanese, heian means peaceful mind shodan means first level.
To say that I was nervous about performing my kata in front of people at the tournament would be an understatement. To be completely honest, I had doubts about my ability to do a good job. I did not want to disappoint my sensei, who has worked so hard with me for this event. My sensei has great patience because he takes the time to go over the routine with me several times until I feel comfortable with it. So, the day of the competition, I was feeling pressure, and kept asking myself why I was participating. I not only felt nervous, but it was visible to my sensei. As I was performing my routine, my arms and legs were shaking. However, through the voice direction of my sensei, I was able to get through the tournament. YAY!
I’m glad that I did not give in to my doubts and fears, because now I can tell others about how I completed something that I never thought I would be able to conquer. Throughout the tournament, people came up to my family and me to say that I was an inspiration. Being called an inspiration warms my heart, and if I made a difference in someone’s life by participating, then it was all worth it.
To say that I was nervous about performing my kata in front of people at the tournament would be an understatement. To be completely honest, I had doubts about my ability to do a good job. I did not want to disappoint my sensei, who has worked so hard with me for this event. My sensei has great patience because he takes the time to go over the routine with me several times until I feel comfortable with it. So, the day of the competition, I was feeling pressure, and kept asking myself why I was participating. I not only felt nervous, but it was visible to my sensei. As I was performing my routine, my arms and legs were shaking. However, through the voice direction of my sensei, I was able to get through the tournament. YAY!
I’m glad that I did not give in to my doubts and fears, because now I can tell others about how I completed something that I never thought I would be able to conquer. Throughout the tournament, people came up to my family and me to say that I was an inspiration. Being called an inspiration warms my heart, and if I made a difference in someone’s life by participating, then it was all worth it.
Thursday, January 27, 2011
Take A Ride With Me
I invite you to take a ride with me; a journey down memory lane. The year was 2000, and like most sixteen year olds, I was ready to take on whatever the world had to offer. On a beautiful, bright, afternoon, I could feel the nervousness in my stomach as I watched the clock draw near to 3:00 p.m. When the time came, I approached the driver’s seat of the car, and proceeded to get into the vehicle. During the whole car ride, all I could think about was hearing those three little words; which to me at that time would have a big impact on my life. When reaching the destination, I put the car in park and turned off the engine. I silently waited for the verdict as my heart started to beat at a faster pace. Then, what seemed to be like a century, I heard those words that I had been waiting so long to hear; congratulations, you passed. Yes! I, Robin Ennis, was an official licensed driver. Like the majority of sighted sixteen year olds, I was ecstatic about the thought of being able to drive myself places. However, I’m not sure my Dad felt the same joy that I had. My Dad said that he was scared about letting me loose in a big machine. LOL. For me, this was one of the happiest days of my life.
Unfortunately, four years later, after losing my eyesight, I had to surrender my license; something to me that held so much meaning. Let’s just say that was a hard day, and my blindness became more of a reality. I’m not sure if I’ll ever be able to drive a car again, but what I do know is that I still have those priceless moments that no one can take away from me.
If you’re wondering what sparked this trip down memory lane, and even if you’re not, I’ll tell you anyway. Saturday, January 29, 2011 is a monumental time for the world, especially many in the blind community. It is the unveiling of the adapted car for blind individuals. The car is configured with several technological features that would allow blind individuals to drive without sighted assistance. In fact, at the unveiling in Daytona, there will be a blind individual test driving the car in front of thousands. To learn more about the unveiling and developers of the car, check out http://www.nfb.org/nfb/NewsBot.asp?MODE=VIEW&ID=683. Let me know what you think. By the way, should I give it a try?
Unfortunately, four years later, after losing my eyesight, I had to surrender my license; something to me that held so much meaning. Let’s just say that was a hard day, and my blindness became more of a reality. I’m not sure if I’ll ever be able to drive a car again, but what I do know is that I still have those priceless moments that no one can take away from me.
If you’re wondering what sparked this trip down memory lane, and even if you’re not, I’ll tell you anyway. Saturday, January 29, 2011 is a monumental time for the world, especially many in the blind community. It is the unveiling of the adapted car for blind individuals. The car is configured with several technological features that would allow blind individuals to drive without sighted assistance. In fact, at the unveiling in Daytona, there will be a blind individual test driving the car in front of thousands. To learn more about the unveiling and developers of the car, check out http://www.nfb.org/nfb/NewsBot.asp?MODE=VIEW&ID=683. Let me know what you think. By the way, should I give it a try?
Sunday, January 2, 2011
Beautifully Blind, Inc. Grant Applications....
Beautifully Blind, Inc. is now accepting applications for 2011 Optic Atrophy Research Grants and Assistive Technology Grants.
Optic Atrophy Research Grant
Optic atrophy or damage to the optic nerve is a widespread eye condition that affects many people across the world. According to the National Institutes of Health, optic atrophy is tissue death of the nerve; ultimately causing permanent blindness. There are many causes that can result in a person being inflicted with this life altering eye condition. Such causes can include but are not limited to poor blood flow, trauma, shock, glaucoma, brain disorders, and sometimes genetics (National Institutes of Health, 2010). If not controlled, optic atrophy can not only diminish a person’s vision, but also the ability to have light perception. There is no current treatment for optic atrophy due to its irreversible nature.
Due to the lack of treatment options that are readily available to people with optic atrophy, research is crucial in order for sight to be restored. Currently, in the United States there are several researchers/scientists whose mission is to find methods to rejuvenate the optic nerve. Such research includes stem cells, gene therapy, and implants.
The awarded grants from Beautifully Blind, Inc. will allow the organization to assist in these research efforts through financial contributions. Beautifully Blind, Inc. will award financial assistance to organizations that are making strides in trying to find treatment for optic atrophy. Research will create understanding, and understanding will hopefully one day lead to a cure.
In order to be selected for consideration, organizations applying for a grant must:
1) Qualify under section 501 (c) (3) of the Internal Revenue Code.
2) The organization’s mission must be in the area of optic atrophy research.
3) The organization must have a proposed plan of action.
4) There needs to be a level of collaboration/partnership with others for the benefit of advancing optic atrophy research.
The level of leadership the organization possesses within their community will also be taken into consideration. Any of the applicants who do not meet the above criteria, will not be selected for consideration.
Assistive Technology Grant
Assistive technology devices can often be the deciding factor of whether or not an individual succeeds in their educational, personal or work like. Beautifully Blind, Inc. provides funding for assistive technology. The application will need to be supported by an assistive technology assessment establishing the requested product meets the client needs. Applications must be accompanied with a recommendation letter from a third party such as a welfare worker, social worker, or a group that supports the blind or similar that can verify the need and financial status. Persons eligible to apply must have a family income less that $50,000.00 and cash assets less than $20,000.00. Previous grant recipients are not assured of future funding. To ensure the grant is used for the intended purpose, grants service will pay the product supplier directly rather than providing cash grants. Grant applicants must be legally blind and a resident of the United States. The application will be available starting January 1st of every year that funding is available. The deadline to apply will be June 1st. The applications will be reviewed by the Grants Committee and recipients will be notified by August 1st. Grants will be awarded at the Annual Gala held in October.
There is a $25.00 application fee.
To request an application, please send an email to info@beautifullyblind.org with Optic Atrophy Research Grant or Assistive Technology Grant in the subject line.
These applications will be available via www.beautifullyblind.org soon.
"Alone we can do so little, together we can do so much."
Helen Keller
Optic Atrophy Research Grant
Optic atrophy or damage to the optic nerve is a widespread eye condition that affects many people across the world. According to the National Institutes of Health, optic atrophy is tissue death of the nerve; ultimately causing permanent blindness. There are many causes that can result in a person being inflicted with this life altering eye condition. Such causes can include but are not limited to poor blood flow, trauma, shock, glaucoma, brain disorders, and sometimes genetics (National Institutes of Health, 2010). If not controlled, optic atrophy can not only diminish a person’s vision, but also the ability to have light perception. There is no current treatment for optic atrophy due to its irreversible nature.
Due to the lack of treatment options that are readily available to people with optic atrophy, research is crucial in order for sight to be restored. Currently, in the United States there are several researchers/scientists whose mission is to find methods to rejuvenate the optic nerve. Such research includes stem cells, gene therapy, and implants.
The awarded grants from Beautifully Blind, Inc. will allow the organization to assist in these research efforts through financial contributions. Beautifully Blind, Inc. will award financial assistance to organizations that are making strides in trying to find treatment for optic atrophy. Research will create understanding, and understanding will hopefully one day lead to a cure.
In order to be selected for consideration, organizations applying for a grant must:
1) Qualify under section 501 (c) (3) of the Internal Revenue Code.
2) The organization’s mission must be in the area of optic atrophy research.
3) The organization must have a proposed plan of action.
4) There needs to be a level of collaboration/partnership with others for the benefit of advancing optic atrophy research.
The level of leadership the organization possesses within their community will also be taken into consideration. Any of the applicants who do not meet the above criteria, will not be selected for consideration.
Assistive Technology Grant
Assistive technology devices can often be the deciding factor of whether or not an individual succeeds in their educational, personal or work like. Beautifully Blind, Inc. provides funding for assistive technology. The application will need to be supported by an assistive technology assessment establishing the requested product meets the client needs. Applications must be accompanied with a recommendation letter from a third party such as a welfare worker, social worker, or a group that supports the blind or similar that can verify the need and financial status. Persons eligible to apply must have a family income less that $50,000.00 and cash assets less than $20,000.00. Previous grant recipients are not assured of future funding. To ensure the grant is used for the intended purpose, grants service will pay the product supplier directly rather than providing cash grants. Grant applicants must be legally blind and a resident of the United States. The application will be available starting January 1st of every year that funding is available. The deadline to apply will be June 1st. The applications will be reviewed by the Grants Committee and recipients will be notified by August 1st. Grants will be awarded at the Annual Gala held in October.
There is a $25.00 application fee.
To request an application, please send an email to info@beautifullyblind.org with Optic Atrophy Research Grant or Assistive Technology Grant in the subject line.
These applications will be available via www.beautifullyblind.org soon.
"Alone we can do so little, together we can do so much."
Helen Keller
Monday, December 27, 2010
The Beauty in "You"
“Will you stand by my side when I need you the most, or will you let your fears prevail, and disappear like a ghost?” One thing for sure is that my blindness not only has changed my life, but the dynamics of my relationships as well. I lost my eyesight two months before my 19th birthday, at a monumental time in life, when a person is starting to learn more about themselves and form their own identity. Little did I know that one aspect of my identity would impact my whole life. Particularly, college was hard for me socially because I was left out of peer groups, due to what I perceive to be stereotypes.
Although I had accepted my blindness, I was made to feel unease about who I was by my peers. At times, the reactions of my peers left me feeling frustrated, sad, and uncomfortable in my own skin. It was my family, close friends, and beliefs that helped give me the confidence to soar above the negative judgments, to which were trying to pull me down. As my college years progressed, that developed confidence turned into relentless ambition. Feeling the need to decry the stereotype about the capabilities of blind/visually impaired individuals was important to me. I wanted to prove to those very people who left me out of groups, that I along with any other student, have the ability and can accomplish the same task they set out to achieve. I’m boasting when I say that my hard work paid off because one of my professors had the class to clap and give me a standing ovation after a debate. So, a word of advice, if I can do it, you can too!
Thinking back on my college and even graduate educational years, I wonder if a person can truly accept themselves if they are not comfortable with who they are? I believe the answer is no because we all have various aspects of our identity that ultimately shapes us into the person who we are today, and will be in the future. Not being comfortable with one part of your identity, is denying yourself the opportunity to grow into the person that you are destined to be. At this point in my life, I can honestly say that I am comfortable with the person I am because I accept all aspects of my identity and feel at ease. If you agree or disagree with this post, please let us know. Beautifully Blind, Inc. wants to know your thoughts!
Although I had accepted my blindness, I was made to feel unease about who I was by my peers. At times, the reactions of my peers left me feeling frustrated, sad, and uncomfortable in my own skin. It was my family, close friends, and beliefs that helped give me the confidence to soar above the negative judgments, to which were trying to pull me down. As my college years progressed, that developed confidence turned into relentless ambition. Feeling the need to decry the stereotype about the capabilities of blind/visually impaired individuals was important to me. I wanted to prove to those very people who left me out of groups, that I along with any other student, have the ability and can accomplish the same task they set out to achieve. I’m boasting when I say that my hard work paid off because one of my professors had the class to clap and give me a standing ovation after a debate. So, a word of advice, if I can do it, you can too!
Thinking back on my college and even graduate educational years, I wonder if a person can truly accept themselves if they are not comfortable with who they are? I believe the answer is no because we all have various aspects of our identity that ultimately shapes us into the person who we are today, and will be in the future. Not being comfortable with one part of your identity, is denying yourself the opportunity to grow into the person that you are destined to be. At this point in my life, I can honestly say that I am comfortable with the person I am because I accept all aspects of my identity and feel at ease. If you agree or disagree with this post, please let us know. Beautifully Blind, Inc. wants to know your thoughts!
Wednesday, November 24, 2010
Accessible Voting Technology....
Along with the right to vote we all should have accessiblity to vote. Jill Piner, a PhD student at Rice University in Houston,
TX is currently working on a project that involves understanding and promoting change in accessible voting technology, specifically for blind and visually impaired individuals. For this study she needs to recruit people that are 18 years of age or older and legally blind. The recruits need to take a survey about their previous voting experience and what changes they feel would be most beneficial. This type of research can help in the changes needed with making voting more accessible and allows our community voice to be heard. The link to the survey is at the end of this post and it should take no more than 15-20 minutes to complete. All information is kept strictly confidential and will only be used for academic purposes. No personally identifying information (like name, address, etc) will be collected. Remember "Alone we can do so little; together we can do so much." Helen Keller.
https://www.surveygizmo.com/s3/405696/Voting
Happy Holidays Luv Bugs!
Stay Beautiful!
Beautifully Blind, Inc.
TX is currently working on a project that involves understanding and promoting change in accessible voting technology, specifically for blind and visually impaired individuals. For this study she needs to recruit people that are 18 years of age or older and legally blind. The recruits need to take a survey about their previous voting experience and what changes they feel would be most beneficial. This type of research can help in the changes needed with making voting more accessible and allows our community voice to be heard. The link to the survey is at the end of this post and it should take no more than 15-20 minutes to complete. All information is kept strictly confidential and will only be used for academic purposes. No personally identifying information (like name, address, etc) will be collected. Remember "Alone we can do so little; together we can do so much." Helen Keller.
https://www.surveygizmo.com/s3/405696/Voting
Happy Holidays Luv Bugs!
Stay Beautiful!
Beautifully Blind, Inc.
Sunday, November 21, 2010
TRAVELING BY SOUND
On November 4, 2010, when I heard the words, “flight attendants prepare for takeoff”, they took on a whole different meaning for me compared to previous flights that I have traveled. I was not only taking off to a destination, but to another country unfamiliar to me. As I could feel the rush of excitement in my body, I kept thinking, Jamaica here I come! My journey was about to begin, and I was ready for what my new adventure would entail. I mentally visualized the beaches, coconut trees, mango trees, beautiful ocean water, and tasty fruit, which increased my level of enthusiasm. However, as Toni mentioned in her post, there was a potential threat of hurricane Tomas, to which I was not excited about at all.
When our plane landed in Jamaica, after walking outside to get into the cab, I could feel the warm humid air brush against me. As I got into the cab, I was thrown off because I completely forgot that Jamaica was a country where the driver is on the right side of the vehicle, rather than the left side as established in The United States. So, every time our driver talked to Toni, who was sitting in the front seat, I kept thinking that the driver is sitting on the wrong side of the car. LOL. When we arrived to the hotel, as everyone proceeded to get out of the car, Imani let out a big sigh, and excitedly said, “Wow, this place is beautiful!” By Imani’s reaction, I didn’t have to see to know that we were in an astounding place.
The next couple of days in Jamaica would be those of education, fun, and relaxation. While waiting for the hotel shuttle, a security guard approached my mom and me. The security guard conveyed that some people take things for granted, and treat others, such as disabled individuals, as though they are lesser of a human being. The security guard went on to commend my mom for being a great parent. After our conversation, it was time for us to go on our tour of Rose Hall; a former sugar plantation aka the home of the ghost Annie Palmer. If you’re not aware of the story, I recommend you research it. Very interesting, yet creepy! I was amazed by the tour guide’s descriptive abilities. Through her dialogue, I was able to mentally envision what the house and objects in the home looked like. Being blind, I didn’t feel left out of the tour, but instead I felt a part of the group.
The following day, I enjoyed myself sitting by the pool, listening to my iPod, and the beautiful sounds of nature. Our hotel was right on the beach, so I could hear the strong currents brush ashore, along with the sound of wind. I couldn’t help but feel a sense of calmness and contentment. However, as Toni mentioned in her post, her experience at the pool was quite different. LOL.
The rest of the trip was a blast, except for the incident I had with one hotel guest. In the gift shop, I politely asked a woman standing by me if I was in her way, and she sharply replied, “Yes, you are in my way.” It is incidents like this one that makes me wonder what people think my white cane is for. However, my mom told her that I was blind, and the woman seemed as though she didn’t care. The woman’s sister (who I will call Erica) overheard the conversation and rushed over to us displaying an overly nice disposition. I assume Erica felt bad because of the rude and insensitive behavior her sister demonstrated. Erica brought over a shirt she thought I might like and described the shirt in descriptive detail. As Erica was describing the shirt, she conveyed that their father was blind. Coincidently, not only was their father blind, but the two women had another sister named Robin. All I can say about this situation is, hmmm… As our trip came to a close, the driver who took us to the airport handed me my bag, and said “I love you.” It was a sincere statement that left me in shock, but validated how compassionate some people can be. Wow, what a way to end my trip!
When our plane landed in Jamaica, after walking outside to get into the cab, I could feel the warm humid air brush against me. As I got into the cab, I was thrown off because I completely forgot that Jamaica was a country where the driver is on the right side of the vehicle, rather than the left side as established in The United States. So, every time our driver talked to Toni, who was sitting in the front seat, I kept thinking that the driver is sitting on the wrong side of the car. LOL. When we arrived to the hotel, as everyone proceeded to get out of the car, Imani let out a big sigh, and excitedly said, “Wow, this place is beautiful!” By Imani’s reaction, I didn’t have to see to know that we were in an astounding place.
The next couple of days in Jamaica would be those of education, fun, and relaxation. While waiting for the hotel shuttle, a security guard approached my mom and me. The security guard conveyed that some people take things for granted, and treat others, such as disabled individuals, as though they are lesser of a human being. The security guard went on to commend my mom for being a great parent. After our conversation, it was time for us to go on our tour of Rose Hall; a former sugar plantation aka the home of the ghost Annie Palmer. If you’re not aware of the story, I recommend you research it. Very interesting, yet creepy! I was amazed by the tour guide’s descriptive abilities. Through her dialogue, I was able to mentally envision what the house and objects in the home looked like. Being blind, I didn’t feel left out of the tour, but instead I felt a part of the group.
The following day, I enjoyed myself sitting by the pool, listening to my iPod, and the beautiful sounds of nature. Our hotel was right on the beach, so I could hear the strong currents brush ashore, along with the sound of wind. I couldn’t help but feel a sense of calmness and contentment. However, as Toni mentioned in her post, her experience at the pool was quite different. LOL.
The rest of the trip was a blast, except for the incident I had with one hotel guest. In the gift shop, I politely asked a woman standing by me if I was in her way, and she sharply replied, “Yes, you are in my way.” It is incidents like this one that makes me wonder what people think my white cane is for. However, my mom told her that I was blind, and the woman seemed as though she didn’t care. The woman’s sister (who I will call Erica) overheard the conversation and rushed over to us displaying an overly nice disposition. I assume Erica felt bad because of the rude and insensitive behavior her sister demonstrated. Erica brought over a shirt she thought I might like and described the shirt in descriptive detail. As Erica was describing the shirt, she conveyed that their father was blind. Coincidently, not only was their father blind, but the two women had another sister named Robin. All I can say about this situation is, hmmm… As our trip came to a close, the driver who took us to the airport handed me my bag, and said “I love you.” It was a sincere statement that left me in shock, but validated how compassionate some people can be. Wow, what a way to end my trip!
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