DREAMS, DREAMS, DREAMS

Starlight, star bright, as I fall asleep, may I have a good dream tonight. It is a known fact that when a person enters into a deep slumber, there is a possibility that he/she will travel through dreamland. Dreams are a tool for people to break away from the realities of life, and enter into a magical land of possibilities. Throughout my life, I have had many dreams; some remaining on the scale of normal, while others have left me puzzled. Since I have lost my eyesight, my dreams have not changed in terms of them being in color with imagery. Due to the high visual nature surrounding dreams, it is hard for some sighted people to fathom how blind/visually impaired individuals can share in this experience. Within these past seven years, I have noticed that there is a common interest by sighted people on whether or not blind/visually impaired individuals have dreams. Particularly, at my field placement in graduate school, a fellow intern told me that she and her boyfriend were having a discussion pertaining to dreams. According to the intern, she and her boyfriend were wondering if blind people had dreams. The answer to this question is yes. Like everyone else, blind people do have dreams; varying in content and appearance.
According to different studies, there is a relationship between vision imagery in dreams, when a person becomes blind/visually impaired, and the extent to their blindness. Among the literature and studies, there was a consensus that people who are born blind/visually impaired or lose their sight at an early age have little to no imagery in their dreams. Whereas, people who lose their eyesight when they are older have visual imagery and memory of what things may look like. However, dreams are not solely based on visual aspects, but instead auditory, smell, touch, and taste can be a part of the experience as well. Dreams are all about one’s imagination and perceptions.
In terms of my own experience when it comes to dreams, I am not shocked at the fact that I still have them. However, what puzzles me is that in all of my dreams I still have my eyesight. Two signifiers that send the message I am sighted is first; I am able to see what is around me. In my dreams, I have vivid images of my family; old/new friends, scenery, etc. Secondly, I am not traveling with my white cane. I am not a dream interpreter, nor can I help but wonder what the meaning is behind my dreams. Who knows, it could be a sign that one day I might have the opportunity to regain my eyesight. Whatever the case may be, one thing remains to be true, I will never give up having hope or faith that one day my dreams will turn into a reality, and I will be able to see with my eyes again!

Blind Photography...

Since my sister has become blind I have been trying to educate myself as much as possible on blindness/visual impairment. I've come across a lot of interesting and helpful information via the internet. One website that has really caught my attention is www.blindphotographers.org. This website displays images made by blind and visually impaired individuals. The photos are absolutely amazing. I told Robin about it and she was excited; she decided that photography was going to be her new hobby. My daughter Imani was her first subject. She told Imani to talk to her so she could follow the sound of her voice. The first couple of photos Imani's head was cut off, but she keep taking pictures and listening to the sound of Imani's voice and could tell what Imani was doing by her tone. She finally nailed it and got a good shot of Imani smiling and saved it as her screen saver on her phone. Robin's been exploring photography through sound and it is quite intriguing to see her interpretation of what she hears. It's amazing how close what I see visually is to what she hears. I was able to look at what she produced and describe it to her, but since she couldn't see it for herself I wondered what did she get out of photography. She said that it was gratification to know that she could still do something that she loved to do when she was sighted. Although it's now a little different than when she was sighted; instead of relying on sight she relies on touch, sound and smell, it's still something she enjoys. There's one photo that really stuck with me from the Blind Photographers website; it's a picture of gray bricks and in the middle of them a patch of green foliage growing with the word ADAPT above and the quote by Teddy Roosevelt "Do what you can, where you are, with what you have." That was so profound. Robin has definitely taken such an abrupt change in her life and has adapted. Through this journey together we are both learning that everything is possible as long as you put forth your best effort and believe in yourself.

BE SAFE; TAKE CHARGE

As human beings, our safety is a prized possession that people hold close. Our safety gives us reassurance, security, control, etc. As a result, when a person’s safety is violated, they may feel vulnerable, powerless, fearful, and angry. Our sense of safety can be violated through various forms of crime, committed by a person against another person. Once a person’s safety is violated, it is hard for them to get that sense of security they once had. Within our society, there are certain people who are vulnerable to being victims of crime over others. Such people include the disabled, women, senior citizens, and children. With this in mind, let’s keep our safety in our own hands by taking precautions to enhance our security. Listed below are various safety tips that will help limit the chances of becoming a victim of crime. The tips were gathered from various resources that include; the city of Cotati, California police, Fort Myers, Florida police, and All Walks of Life Inc. Among these three resources the following tips were given by all of them as recommendations to increase safety.
1. Be aware of and avoid situations that could put you in harms way such as; dark places and abandoned areas. It is important to be aware and in tuned to your surroundings, so that predators won’t have an opportunity to take advantage of you. Specifically, being alert to what is going on around you is crucial. Try to limit the distractions that might deter your attention. Such distractions may include, but are not limited to talking on your cell phone, texting, listening to your ipod, etc.
2. Let someone know where you are going and the approximate time you expect to be back.
3. Pay attention to your body language. Send the message that you are secure and comfortable with your surroundings. Predators can pick up on a person’s fear and vulnerability.
4. Carry security apparatus such as loud alarms, pepper spray, etc. Predators do not like anything that will draw attention by others to the situation. Loud alarms will peak curiosity by people who are in the vicinity and will enhance the chances of preventing an attack.
5. Try to change up your routine and predictability. Whenever an established schedule is developed, it is easy for a predator to know your whereabouts at specific times.
6. Become engaged in a self defense class. Not only is being alert crucial, but also knowing the proper movements to take if you find yourself in a life-threatening predicament. Self-defense classes can enable a person to feel more in control of their situation and their own body. Also, karate and judo are other ways to learn how to fight off your attackers and feel more confident. Don’t worry if you are blind/visually impaired or have some other type of challenge. There are instructors who are professionally trained and knowledgeable of meeting your own individual unique needs.

These tips are supposed to serve as mere tools to enhance your feelings of confidence and control, in terms of your physical safety. Whenever I am out in public, I try to be extremely alert, because I realize that not everyone sees with their heart; such as predators. I am currently in the process of enrolling in karate classes. Enrolling in karate classes will give me a sense of feeling secure, and lessen the fear of being a vulnerable target to others. I will keep you updated on my journey through the classes. Remember to be proactive when it comes to safety by stopping predators in their tracks. Protect yourself by taking control of the situation, and not letting the situation take control of you!

A Must Read - Alive Day...

It’s been a while, but I’m back! I was asked to read a book called Alive Day and give a review. It took me a while because I really wanted to take my time and enjoy the book and not rush through it; it was really well written and filled with emotion. I recommend that you pick it up and read it for yourselves. I’m going to check and see if it’s on tape for Robin. I was telling her about it and she can’t wait to hear it! I haven’t been this excited about a book since I’ve read How People Grow by Robert Townsend and Henry Cloud. Let me tell you after I read that book it was my official “gift giving book”, it was so good I wanted to give it to everyone as a gift…so now I have two! Alive Day was so inspirational; I loved it, not only was it a touching story it gave a lot of insight on being blind.

Alive Day is a part fictional story about two individuals with completely different backgrounds becoming disabled by circumstance. Brendan a psychiatrist who is blinded after a mountain fall and his patient Antwone a Marine who becomes paralyzed in the line of duty learn valuable lessons of life from each other. This inspirational story was brilliantly written by Tom Sullivan who lost his sight as an infant and coauthored by Betty White of the Golden Girls. Alive Day is about living life to its fullest and shows that with faith and love all things are possible. There are so many aspects that this book covers; the importance of family, friendships, those serving our country, faith, misconceptions, self value, love etc. It was so beautifully written that you feel the emotions of the characters...the book was definitely a heartfelt read! The most powerful line in the book for me that I will remember forever is “Everybody in life has a disability. Some disabilities seem to be more complex or more profound than others, but everybody has the same choice: you can either live life fully or you can live it feeling sorry for yourself.” Absolutely profound.

The Need For Assistance

Help seeking behavior is a natural part of life, and at one point in a person’s existence, he/she will need a lending hand. However, although a person may need assistance with a task, does not mean that they will ask for it. One possible reasoning behind this could be attributed to the fact that we live in an individualistic society, where asking for help can be hard for both sighted and blind/visually impaired people. As a part of our society, every man or woman for themselves has been ingrained into the mindsets of people. It is these mindsets that cause people to put pride before compassion. Since I have lost my eyesight, I have noticed that there is this underlying dictation on how blind/visually impaired individuals should act; particularly, when it comes to asking for help. Some people believe that asking for help is a sign of weakness and it gives way to society’s stereotypes about the disabled. On the contrary, as mentioned above, I believe asking for help is bound to happen, and there is nothing wrong with it. Whenever I find myself in a situation where I need assistance, I am not afraid to ask for it. I am an independent person, who at times does need help, along with a lot of other people. It would be remiss if I or anyone blind/visually impaired felt that assistance would not be needed at any given time. It would be callous if anyone believes that a blind/visually impaired person should wing it for themselves and not request assistance when needed and/or requested. Just because I am blind does not mean I have to be superwoman. In my opinion, sighted or blind/visually impaired, not asking for help when needed, can leave room for a person to put a lot of pressure on themselves. Look at politicians, doctors, nurses, judges, and policeman; they all need help by someone in one way or another. Just imagine, would you not want these people asking for help? In addition, Stevie Wonder, Scott Macintyre, and the late Ray Charles were not afraid to ask for help when being guided onto the stage. It is like Winston Churchill said, “Attitude is a little thing that makes a big difference”. Let’s change our attitude towards giving and receiving help because what may be viewed as being dependent to one person may be the opposite for another.

Letting Go...

I must admit I am a bit overprotective of Robin; one reason being because she is my baby sister and the second because of her disability. I think back to the time when I was 18 years old and trying to gain my independence as a young adult, the last thing I wanted was my family being too involved in my life. I wanted to experience life for myself on my own. I often wonder if Robin felt stripped of that experience. Becoming blind at the age of 18 she had to become dependent on her family to help her adjust. Seeing Robin go through such a difficult time it made me want to make things as easy for her as possible. There are a lot of things that Robin can do on her own, but I'm sure there's tons more things that she could do if we let our overprotective guards down. It's very hard to let go. I realized that I may have been enabling Robin when I would pick her up from work. I would always go to the door to meet her instead of letting her walk to the car herself. Last week I picked Robin up from work, my first instinct was to go get her and guide her to the car, but then I decided to let her come to the car herself. I watched her with nervousness as she utilized her cane to find her way to the car...I couldn't help myself so I rolled down the window and said "keep coming, follow my voice. To my surprise she made it to the car without any problems. She said that she had been wanting to guide herself but was nervous that she wouldn't be able to find her way. Was her nervousness created by me being so overprotective and wanting to do everything for her instead of allowing her the chance to try? We learn through our experiences in overcoming trials, tribulations and failures. If not given the opportunity to try something we are doing an individual great disservice. Robin was so happy that she was able to conquer the fear of guiding herself and through me being overprotective I was about to stifle her confidence and growth. Although it's going to be hard, for the good of my sister I am going to have to let go and let her gain her independence. I won't be there to catch her when she falls, but I will definitely be there to pick her up and brush her off and encourage her to try again in whatever it is that life throws her way.

United We Learn...

As human beings, we live in a diverse world with people from various ethnic backgrounds, religions, abilities, ages, etc. Diversity helps people learn from others by creating awareness about different experiences and perspectives that another may have. Being around others who are different from us enables people to see the views of a situation from another's perception. With this in mind, it is how people choose to incorporate diversity into their lives that really counts. Embracing the unique differences of others can lead to a world of education, prosperity, growth, and acceptance.
It is the Lighthouse International School in New York for the blind and sighted that puts diversity into action. For those of you who may not know, the Lighthouse International School is a nonprofit child development learning center that was established in 1905. The Lighthouse International School child development learning center not only seeks to help blind/visually impaired children through the offering of education, clinical services, and advocacy, but they offer educational experiences to sighted children as well (lighthouse.org).
Out of the fifteen story building that houses the Lighthouse International School child development learning center, the third floor is the place where joint education takes place among preschoolers (lighthouse.org). Both sighted and visually impaired/blind children embrace the differences within one another through empathy. The sighted students offer a lending hand to their peers whenever needed, while the visually impaired/blind students illustrate how learning can occur on all levels. These students do not see one another as being sighted or visually impaired/blind, but instead as human beings who are their friends.
Lighthouse International Schools’ child development learning center for sighted and blind students was featured in People Magazine and on Good Morning America. I believe that Lighthouse International School helps children learn at a young age about acceptance of people from all backgrounds and abilities. I truly believe that there should be more schools like this one because every time I go to the store, I encounter stares, peculiar treatment, and awkward questions by others. The Lighthouse International School has a waiting list every year of sighted individuals trying to get into the school. It is my hope that one day people will take a lesson from the Lighthouse International School children, which is compassion for all.