Jokes, Mockery, or Marginalization?

I have always had a great sense of humor, even after the loss of my eyesight. As a matter of fact, I believe laughter is good for the soul and helps a person cope with their everyday situation. Within our society, there are several comedy acts and television series that help reach a person’s sense of humor, causing them to laugh for the moment. Throughout the comedy acts and television shows, there are jokes made about a particular event, situation, group, and/or an individual. With this said, there is the need to draw on society’s humorous side. So taking this into consideration, where is the line drawn and when does a joke become something more? I truly believe that when a joke sets out to deliver laughter through the mocking of another person, it can be harmful to the individual and society as a whole.
Many jokes have been played out based upon weight, race, economic class, ability, etc. As a result, more stereotypes can arise about that particular group, causing them to be treated differently within society. When I think of jokes gone wrong, by causing pain to a person, New York Governor Paterson comes to mind.
On the hit late night show, Saturday Night Live (SNL), there was a skit depicting Governor Paterson as he is trying to find a replacement for Senator Clinton. For those of you who don’t know, Governor Paterson is legally blind. The skit mocks his disability in several ways throughout the segment. The actor who plays Governor Paterson, said he has three criteria for finding a replacement for Senator Clinton; economic experience, upstate influence, and someone who has a disability and is unprepared for the job like he is. In my opinion, it is statements like these that contribute to the discrimination, stereotypes, and high unemployment rates for visually impaired individuals. The skit on SNL went on to mock Governor Paterson by having the impersonator talk about an illustrated chart depicting job loss, while the chart was being held upside down. The SNL skit caused a lot of controversy across the nation, sparking discussion around the treatment of the disabled. Some media figures were saying how Governor Paterson has made jokes about himself in the past, what makes this skit different? It is the message behind the joke and how it is used that makes the difference. When Governor Paterson was making jokes about himself, they were not degrading or depicting a particular group to be less competent than another. Another comment that was brought on one of the morning talk shows was that blind/visually impaired individuals are being sensitive to the skit because of the heightened economic strain and there was nothing wrong with the SNL segment. In my opinion, if demanding respect is being sensitive, then I suggest opening up the dictionary and reviewing the definitions of respect, disrespect, mean, and cruel. This whole issue touches home with me because on one of my local radio stations, they were making crude and vulgar jokes about the descriptive videos for the blind. Just to illustrate the crudeness of the comments on the radio show, I was not the only one who took offense; my mom was repulsed as well. Due to the offense that I took after hearing the segment, I wrote a letter to the radio station’s director and received a response back. The director said she read the transcripts and she didn’t see anything offensive about the show. After several e-mails back and forth, I realized that the radio station was not trying to see the situation from my point of view. In addition to my e-mail, several of my friends also wrote and/or called into the station to convey their concerns. As a part of personal choice, I have not listened to the radio station since the
skit. I truly believe that laughter is one component to happiness, but not at the expense of others. It is one thing to make jokes about yourself, but it is another to use them to dehumanize others. It is jokes and comments like these that cause me to have to prove myself every time I step into a classroom or place of employment. These situations are frustrating, but it is important not to give up and remember that what impacts one person is likely to touch others as well. In addition, one person standing up for what is right, can make a world of difference for all!

We Need Our Readers...

Hello! We are adding a Spotlight section to our website that is being developed...in this section we would like to spotlight our readers who are visually impaired and have a story of overcoming obstacles. If you have a story that you would like to share please submit it to beautifullyblind@ymail.com along with a picture if you'd like, how you would like your name to appear ex. Jane Doe, J. Doe, Jane D., or Anonymous and your home State.

Thanks and have a blessed day!

Beautifully Blind Inc.

Just Breathe...

I know I'm a slacker lol! It's been a week since Robin's graduated and I'm just now getting around to write about it. I loved being Robin's guide because it was such a great accomplishment, but let me tell you...I was soooo nervous! I felt like I was graduating! It kind of felt good because I didn't walk when I received my bachelor's, so I got to experience it through my sister. Unfortunately I had failed Managerial Accounting and had to go to summer school to make it up...I didn't want to have my family travel all the way to Georgia again to see me walk later so I just picked my degree up from the register's office...such sweet memories HA! Anyway we had to meet with the disabilities offices a couple of hours before the ceremony to figure out where we were going to walk. They made a special aisle for us to walk up...the row was not in the Master of Social Work group, it was in the Masters of Business Administration group, so we had to remember who we were to go after in the MSW group so Robin could fall into place. We ended up sitting next to 2 very nice men who were receiving their MBA's, one of them was graduating with his brother,they had completed the program together. Brian was the other guy, he was very nice and the type of person that you wish all people were like. He was interested in learning about how one functions being blind. Robin enjoyed answering his questions about her disability and how she did her papers and etc. She said she wished everyone with questions approached her as he did instead of assume or just right out ignore her. So anyway, back to the graduation plan, because we were sitting with the wrong group after Robin got her degree we would have to walk around the back and get out of line to go over to where they were taking photos; my plan was to stay in line with the MBA candidates and break off from them when they went to get their degrees and take Robin to get her picture taken. We found out that wasn't going to work because her group received their degrees after the MBA's so we wouldn't have hers to take the picture with. I began to get nervous because we were down on the floor of the auditorium and there were thousands of people in the stands that would see us...messing up! So I'm sitting there trying to figure out how are we going to maneuver this. Luckily all the Marshals were aware of what was going on with Robin's disability and were there to guide us. When it was time for the Master's of Social Work group to go one of the Marshals came to tell us to get ready and was there to help us...I was able to ask him what should we do about the picture and he said he would take care of it...he asked the photographers to stay after so Robin could take her picture. That was perfect because I did not want to be walking around out of order in front of all those people. For some reason I was so nervous...my knees were shaking! LOL! So, now it's getting close to Robin's name being called, I'm looking for the girl that we are supposed to fall in line in front of...as we're walking up the aisle that they made for Robin she's telling me "don't forget to tell me when to step up the stairs, I don't want to fall on the stage!" So I'm getting nervous with all these people and making sure I guide her right, I take her to the stage and then to the Chancellor to get her degree...I turned around and saw all those people so I got nervous and guided Robin off the stage telling her, step, step, step...once we get back to our seats I realized I didn't take her to shake the Professor's and Dean's hand!!! Oh well the good thing is everything else went smoothly..at the end we all walked out and Robin was able to go take her picture and I was finally able to breathe!

Graduation...

June 5, 2009 was a momentous day for me because it was the graduation ceremony for students receiving a graduate degree. I put on the black cap and gown with pride because I have worked really hard to get to this day. The memorizing, paper writing, late nights cramming, etc. paid off because I reached my academic goal. However, although I put in a lot of work, I cannot take all of the credit because if it was not for my mom, dad, and sister, I would not have been able to fulfill my objectives. My family has offered me continued support through their advocacy and devotion. My family has been embarking on this long hard journey with me, and along the way, they have given me the strength to live out my dream of helping others. Therefore, graduation was a great moment to live out with my family. I was glad my sister was able to be my guide during the ceremony because it meant a lot to have someone sitting next to me, to whom I care a lot about. Plus, it was pretty funny listening to my sister talk about how nervous she was leading me the wrong way.
So, as I began to walk in the processional with my peers and future colleagues, I could not help but remember all of the times that were spent on the campus. In addition to my Master’s, I received my undergraduate degree from the University of Denver, as well. In other words, I have been going to school on the same campus for six years. It has been a place where I have met many challenges, but over time, I eventually overcame those obstacles. With this said, along with pride, I felt sorrow because I was saying goodbye to a chapter in my life that has helped me grow so much as a person. Now that my time on my school’s campus is over, I am now entering into another phase in my life, where I am sure I will learn a lot more life lessons.

Out of Hibernation

To all of our beautiful readers, I apologize for the long period since I have last blogged, but I have been in hibernation. These last couple weeks I have been consumed with school work, my internship, and my new job. Well, don’t get too excited for me, my new job is only one day a week, but I guess it’s a start, right? So, piggybacking off of my sister’s recent post about Wal-Mart, I have another interesting story that I want to share with you. Like my sister’s story, this one also involves an incident at Wal-Mart. Well, it all started when my Mom and I went shopping at our local Wal-Mart when we were approached by a male shopper. The man stopped his basket and asked my Mom how old was I (Remember the blog when I talked about how some people do not talk directly to me, but instead to the person to whom I am with, well this was one of those situations). In response to the man’s question, I replied “I am 25.” In a shocked response, the man told me that I do not look like I am 25 and then he went on to ask me how much could I see. I answered his question and thought that was the extent to our conversation, but I was wrong. The man ended the conversation by saying “God bless and good luck kid.” I have to say that was one of the strangest interactions I have had from a perfect stranger. However, although the interaction was bizarre, I am use to strangers coming up to me when I am out in public. In fact, I could probably write a book on the various interactions I have had since the loss of my eyesight. With this said, since I have lost my eyesight, I have wondered if any other blind/visually impaired individuals have had similar situations to mine where strangers have approached them. If any of this sounds familiar, we would love to hear from you about the similar encounters you have experienced!

BUSY.....

Wow it has been a busy, busy, busy month! I have been working diligently to get stuff for Beautifully Blind Inc. together...it is coming along! We have an awesome web designer Nicole Williams, she is making sure that the website is screen reader accessible...check her out at www.nicolewilliams.info; our website should be up soon, we will keep you posted! I think everyone will enjoy it! Beautifully Blind Inc.'s mission is to bridge the gap between the sighted and visually impaired. Through education and resources we hope to help in leveling the playing field in social and professional arenas of life. Thank you to those who have posted comments and have shared your lives with us, you help make us more determined to push towards our goal! Robin will be graduating next month and I will be guiding her to the stage to get her degree...I'll be wearing the entire cap and gown get up so I'll blend in with the rest of the graduates!!! Some random person guided her when she received her bachelor's; not as special as sharing the moment with someone close to you! I'm so proud of her! She also begins her job as a group counselor...I am making up some adaptive forms for her to use with her computer, so the writing part of her job will be taken care of. She is so blessed to be employed by such great people; people that are open minded, non-judgmental and willing to give her a chance...they see Robin for the young lady that she is and do not define her according to her disability. Hopefully more people will learn to have this attitude. So for those of you out there that work with Robin...you know who you are....YOU ARE WONDERFUL!!!

Hello...

Hello my name is Robin and yes, I am visually impaired. However, my impairment does not make me any less human than you, so treat me accordingly. There have been times when I have felt like saying this, and a lot more to some people that I have come across because they either have treated me as though I was invisible or incapable of understanding what they are saying. Since I lost my eyesight, I can’t even count the number of times when people have talked to the person I am with about issues pertaining to me, instead of asking me directly. This can be frustrating because I am capable of answering for myself, and the person is taking that right away from me. It is a sad fact, but I don’t think that this issue only affects blind/visually impaired individuals, but a lot of other disabled people as well. For example, I was at our state capitol, and I heard a wheelchair bound man talk about how he felt like a third class citizen because of the way others have treated him. The man went on to talk about how some of the medical personnel would talk about what to do with him to his wife, as though he was not a person. Whenever I am with my mom or sister, they challenge this type of treatment by saying, “You can ask her yourself, she’s right here." When hearing this statement, many people realize their mistake and try to correct it by either apologizing or simply asking the question again, but directing it to me.
Educating others is important because if their mistakes go without being challenged, then they will keep committing the same actions without thinking twice about them. On the flip side, it is also good to acknowledge other’s positive actions because it can enable them to be aware and continue to better assist people in the future. When we go to a store or out to dinner where the salesperson/waiter is in tuned to my needs, then my mom, sister, or I will praise their efforts. When anyone, especially service personnel takes the time to be helpful, then it shows me that they care and value me as a person.
Another frustration that I have come across and will be discussed are friendships. Along with losing my eyesight, I lost some of my friends, which was heartbreaking at the time. I never would have thought the people to whom I called my friends, would abandon me because of a situation that was out of my control. When things like this happen, I try to remember what my dad tells me, which is "Don’t be so quick to call everyone your friend because your true friends will stick with you through the thick and thin." For those of you who lost friends due to your blindness/visual impairment; just remember that you are a great person and those people are not worthy of your friendship.
In addition to some of my friends, my peers treated me differently from sighted students by not asking me to be in their study groups and/or not talking to me in class. I actually had one incident in class where one student physically went to everyone in the classroom and asked them to be his partner, when he got to me; he kept going and asked the person sitting next to me. When this happened, I felt really sad and alienated because I wanted to be treated like the other students. Some people feel that because I am visually impaired, I cannot do the same things as them. Another example is when one day my mom decided to play matchmaker and introduce me to this one guy on campus. Well, according to the student, it turned out that we had already had a previous class together, but he never said anything to me. When asked by my so honest mom why didn’t he talk to me, he gestured to the fact because I was blind. My mom educated him by saying, "Just because she is blind that does not mean she can’t talk to you." Let’s just say that I went on to have another class with him and he made it a point to say hello lol! The fact of the matter is that in our society, there are still people who will be clueless and/or mean when it comes to interacting with people who are different from them. One way to deal with these types of people is through education and awareness. However, even through education, some people may not want to change, and then you must treat them with a grain of salt because you are a beautiful person who deserves to be treated with respect.