Wednesday, April 8, 2009
Blind Dating….
Today I came across a website for visually impaired dating. It stated that it was place where visually impaired could feel at ease, meet people with the same disability and find love. The question that came to me was is it assumed that because one is blind that they only date or are interested in someone blind as well? I’m 5’1”, should there be a website that promotes dating for those that are 5”…nothing against short men (my granddaddy was the same height as me LOL!), but the categorizing just really gets to me. My thought is if you’re visually impaired or sighted, dating is the same…being blind does not define who you are as a person. There are many blind or visually impaired individuals whose spouses are sighted, as well as their children. As Robin puts it, she’s not a blind person…she’s a person who happens to be blind. Just like any other female there are certain attributes that she looks for in a mate, and whether they can see or not is not on her list. You date someone because you have the same interest, likes and beliefs. And although she preaches it’s not what the person looks like on the outside, it’s about what’s in their heart (which is true)…there are certain things that make a man or woman attractive to an individual. Depending on your likes and dislikes there are certain things that draw you to an individual. That same something that makes me weak in the knees for Morris Chestnut is the same something that made Robin post a picture of Omarion on her wall and not Scott MacIntyre (blind American Idol contestant). It’s a matter of preference not a matter of blindness. She claims it’s not because of Omarion’s built physique (yeah right, whatever Robin!), but because when she had the opportunity to meet him the way he treated her with respect and dignity as he would have his other fans. Respect and dignity is really all that one who is visually impaired wants, to be viewed and treated the same as those that are sighted. We see differently but we all feel the same.
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That is very true. It takes all types to make the world go round so to speak. Dating for the most part is the same but a few things that I have found (being visually impaired myself) that put us at a bit of a disadvantage. I have been doing quite a bit of research as of late quite frankly due to my lack of experience with "normal" relationships. The one specific thing that stands out to me as a disadvantage is the lack of being able to process/understand body language from the opposite sex. So if you ladies happen to have any suggestions as to how to overcome this I'd be glad to hear them.
ReplyDeleteThis is a great question. First of all, believe in yourself as a person and remember that regardless of whether a person is blind/visually impaired, all relationships are normal. Relationships can be a hard topic to understand, especially trying to figure out the opposite sex. Like any other relationship, dating for blind/visually impaired individuals can be presented with some challenges. One challenge is the inability to interpret nonverbal communication, such as body language. Therefore, in order to know if someone is interested in having a romantic relationship with you, it’s important to pay attention to what, how, and when something is being said. If someone does not directly convey their feelings or thoughts, it can also be shown through their tone/pitch of voice, flow of conversation, and silences. In all relationships, there is always that chance of mistaking politeness for flattery and vice versa. Staying in tuned to the other person will limit the chances of misreading someone. It’s always good to check in with the other person about their feelings, whether or not they are having a good time on the date, etc. As you become more comfortable in discussing intimate gestures with the person in question, you may want to come right out and ask her if she is comfortable with specific touches. Again, just because you are blind/visually impaired, it does not make your relationships any less normal than someone who is sighted. Hope this helps, and if you have any more questions, feel free to ask!
ReplyDeleteI've taught you well Robin! I agree, there are other indicators besides body language that will let you know if the opposite sex is into you. As Robin mentioned the tone of ones voice, also how that person treats you and their availabilty. If someone is into you they will be available to you, if you have to always track the person down and you are doing most of the calling...they're not that interested. Another hint would be the conversation, someone interested in you will want to find out as much about you as possible, they will be genuinely interested in what you have to say. Also, touch is a good indicator...the holding of hands, gentle grabbing/hugging of the arm,a rub on the back, leaning of ones head on a shoulder are all little signs of someone showing interest. The best sign of all is how that person makes you feel about your self and how that person treats you around other people. This holds true in every dating situation, how a person treats you around their friends and family is a huge indicator of how they feel about you. Be confident, and be your amazing true self!
ReplyDeleteWhat was the dating site called?
ReplyDeleteI want to join.
What you said is true and if everyone thought that way you probably wouldn't have to have a dating site only for the vision impaired however there are alot of people who judge you based on you being visually impaired. I'm a 30 y/o male who has been visually impaired for about 6 years now and there are alot of poeple who when they find out only think about the ways this would affect a potential relationship ( One example: they would be responsibe for doing all the driving on potential dates ) So a site like that for some people would probably be nice because they wouldn't have to worry about being judged completely based on their impairment before someone got to know them.
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